Still More from Chapter 4 of Aching: Memoirs of an Unrequited Sex Addict

Below continues the excerpt I posted Monday about the first time I had sex. I had to pay. I bet you didn’t have to.

From Chapter 4:

Back in the first room, Julie had me climb onto a bed of sorts. I was quite comfortable letting her direct me. She had a script and I had no objections. I got on my back and she took off the bikini. Immediately, she began rubbing my torso. Typically, I wanted the masseuse to make a beeline for my cock. I actually digging Julie’s touch when she instructed me to roll over. I went along with it. She straddled me. I could feel her pussy against my ass. Sliding down against my back, she rubbed her tits from my shoulders to the small of my back and back up again, moaning as she did it. The moaning was so faked that I found it distracting, but I liked where she was taking this. Then Julie tossed my salad without asking me or without me asking. It was sudden, brief, and seemed to be part of the routine she’d been taught. I felt guilty about it. I wanted to tell her she didn’t need to do it, but I’ll admit: I liked it. I didn’t stop her.

Again, she had me roll over. She kissed my stomach, sighing loudly and attempting to be sexy. I remember wishing that she’d stop that and just go through the physical motions. Finally, she grabbed my cock, which she had mostly neglected until now. After just a few tugs, she propositioned me. Hearing her say, “Hundred dollar, condom sex?” was one of the greatest moments of my life. Holy fucking shit. I was going to have sex. I couldn’t grab the five twenties fast enough.

Although the moment was exhilarating, I lost some of it by fretting over incidentals. The salad-tossing left me a bit uneasy. The more pressing issue was whether or not I’d come too quickly. I couldn’t stop thinking about this. I also worried that worrying would make me lose my erection. Julie saw me through, though. She grabbed a condom, put it on me with her mouth, and mounted me. She began to ride me as I became starkly aware of how much more experienced she was. I tried to focus on the feeling of actually being inside someone (it was kind of uncomfortable). I tried to relish the totality of the moment (my life had really led up to this moment). To my utter amazement, I was having sex. Adding to the astonishment was how long I was lasting. I can’t say how long I took to come, but it felt like forever and was much longer than I had figured I’d last. We actually changed positions twice, making this far better of an experience than I’d anticipated. I wouldn’t say it was better than my fantasies, but it was a step up from what I figured my first time would be like.

I remember little about the minutes after. I have some vague memory of seeing another attendant as Julie walked me out. The rain had stopped and steam was rising from the asphalt driveway. I glanced again at the Temple across the street. No, I didn’t feel shame about losing my virginity to a prostitute. I felt shame about having not come to a place like this sooner. I wanted more. I was back the next week with Julie. I shaved and washed my ass for this time.

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