Below is more from Chapter 3 of Aching: Memoirs of an Unrequited Sex Addict. This post continues from where the previous post left off, with me unsure what was coming during my first visit to a massage parlor.
From Chapter 3:
I’d never heard such great news. Moments like this never felt how I expected. I never could appreciate them completely while they were happening. Surprising myself, I was at my most assertive during the next few crucial seconds. I immediately led her hand to the mound in my underwear. Our eyes met and we both smiled. This had just become a new kind of comfortable. Jackie gently squeezed me for a few seconds. She asked if I wanted to get more comfortable. I smiled and slid off my underwear, releasing a timid but growing erection. Jackie approved. Seconds later, she wore nothing but a grey thong. She climbed onto the table and knelt next to me. I thought my life was complete the instant her warm little hand wrapped around my shaft. I saw myself smile in the mirror. Strangely, I wanted to watch in the mirror more than I wanted to watch her touch me. Soon she was tugging me slowly. This was really happening. I hadn’t felt such emotional perfection in years.
I worried I’d explode within seconds, but her movement was tender and relaxing, allowing me to sustain. She offered oil once more, but I really just wanted her hand. Everything she did was right. She asked if I wanted her to go faster or slower. She explained and offered different kinds of releases: hand release, breast release, and ass release. I wanted to at least sample each. She shifted and now stood off the side of the table. Without asking this time, she oiled up her chest. Then she leaned over and pressed me between her breasts. This was more than incredible. They were so supple and smooth. I fixated on her birthmarks. Her nipples made me think she might have a kid. The way she slid her tits over me felt nothing less than amazing. Still feeling assertive, I thrust my hips just slightly. She smiled and let me go with it.
Jackie didn’t finish me this way. When she asked if I wanted to, I told her I wanted to get behind her. Smiling as usual, she took off her thong, climbed up with me again, and got on all fours. With her ass in the air, she motioned me towards her. I slipped my slick cock between her ass cheeks and began pumping. Her thick ass held me in place as I slid upwards between those cheeks. The sensation was intense, but the visual is what did it for me. I looked to my left and saw the reflection of me kneeling behind her with my cock gliding up and down her ass. The rush hit me instantly.
“Where do you want me to come?” I asked. As the last word left my mouth, my body shivered. The sensation ran through me and I couldn’t contain it. With a strained shout, I came all over her back. I apologized and offered to clean it off her, though I didn’t know with what. I worried she’s be upset, but she seemed quite used to this. She had no idea how meaningful that orgasm was to me. Jackie just turned and smiled yet again. “It’s okay,” she said.
Cleaning up was somewhat clinical. We wiped off with warm towels, which had been stowed under the table. I wondered how thoroughly the staff washed them. She asked if I had a good time. I couldn’t emphasize just how much of a good time I’d had. Someone just touched me! I got to touch someone! I actually got to come next to another person! This could happen again! I kept my composure and simply thanked her for her time.
We dressed and left together. She held my hand through the hallways. I liked that. The clock on the wall told me we’d used less than my thirty minutes, but I was totally content.
“Will you be back?” she asked.
“Absolutely,” I said.
She said goodbye, opened the door, and let me back into the first waiting room. Two men sat opposite one another. One guy stared at the floor. He looked like everyone’s father from my high school, with glasses and a track jacket. The other guy looked up at me. He was a huge man wearing black jeans and a black leather jacket. I think I did a double take when I saw him. The scarring on his face looked like cheap Halloween makeup. It wasn’t. I didn’t want to think about how he got it.
“Is Amber working?” he asked. His voice was the gruffest sound I’d ever heard.
“I don’t know,” I answered. “I was with Jackie.” I slunk out before he asked me anything else.
The door shut behind me and the world I knew returned. No more waiting room. No more barefoot Jackie. I was myself again, but a new version of myself. I was a guy who was perfectly willing to pay for sex. I was scarcely different than those guys in the waiting room. A new realization settled. Yes, I’d managed to have some kind of sex before leaving college. However, I became someone new to get it. Perhaps I’d become who I’d always been.