If Only I Was A Hot Teenage Girl

I made a Twitter account to promote my writing. Doing this made me slightly ill, but I got over myself and went through with it. After months of tweeting and following, I’ve managed just a few hundred followers. I suppose I’m not particularly interesting. Most of those who follow me follow hundreds of other accounts, so I doubt many of them spend much time reviewing what I tweet. I think the bulk of them only follow me because I followed them first, or because they’re promoting something of their own. This is the grand reach-around that is social media. The account hasn’t helped me promote much of anything. In most respects, using Twitter has been a waste of time and energy.

Not everything about it has been a waste, though. I’ve found a vast new source of masturbation fodder through Twitter. Because I’m a wanton pervert, I follow the accounts of young, attention-seeking girls who post pictures of themselves in underwear and tweet about their lusty fantasies. I think dudes run many of these accounts, but I don’t really care. The pictures and dirty messages have given me hours worth of fresh jerk off material. I’ll tire of these eventually, but for now, they work for me.

While creeping around on these accounts (and milking myself to them), I’ve noticed that these girls have thousands upon thousands of followers. For example, I started following a college freshman from California who got over 10,000 followers within a month of starting her account. She says almost nothing in her posts. She just poses in her underwear (or less), takes pictures with her phone, and posts the images. In recent weeks, she’s started selling clips of herself masturbating and blowing dildos. I bet she makes more money from one thirty-second video than I’ve made from every word I’ve ever written. I don’t know whether to admire her or resent her. I guess I’m jealous of her ability to take advantage of lonely pigs like me.

Of course, it isn’t just teenagers getting all of the attention. I follow several couples and single women who post homemade porn. Many have thousands of followers. Again, they don’t create anything. They just take pictures and videos with little regard for artistry. Some just post nude images, while others post more X-rated visuals. With the barest effort, they get more attention then I could ever hope to get. I’m not sure why some of them do it beyond getting attention. Only a few appear to be attempting to profit from their accounts. I guess it makes them feel good about themselves. It has the opposite effect on me.

I guess I’m doing everything wrong. I at least have the wrong parts. I suppose I could retweet porn like so many others do. This does seem to attract followers, but it has little to do with my writing. I could post naked images of myself, but that assumes anyone wants to see these. Everyone wants to see naked teenage girls. Far fewer people want to see naked middle-aged men. Maybe I should stop fretting over it and invest that energy into writing something someone might actually want to read. That brings me back to getting the attention of anyone who might want to read it, which is what I tried to do with Twitter. The reach-around continues.


8 thoughts on “If Only I Was A Hot Teenage Girl

  1. Look at as an opportunity to spread your thoughts and opinions to a more vast audience. Can you tell me what you found so appealing in blog?


  2. Maybe you should hang out with a different crowd….one focused upon creativity. Come visit, poach readers, get to know more people. Folks are more interested in WHAT you write and HOW you write it. Come check my blog–and its variety of blog visitors…out! https//bythemightymumford.wordpress.com/


    1. I really don’t hang out with any crowd. Thanks for the invitation, though. I’m gradually losing interest in writing and I doubt I’ll have much of worth to contribute to conversations about it. I post here as a dumping ground for some of the swill I’ve generated, but that is less about the craft and more about saying to a reader, “Hey, someone has a worse sex life than you have.”


  3. Man, such a good observation about social media. On the DL, though, I’ve been exactly where you and it wasn’t that long ago. And discreetly, I still want to be there, even though I can’t be. Sometimes I wished I was a hot teenage girl just so I could get an easy fuck anytime I wanted. I would imagine myself walking around in public with my tits hanging out or possibly go to the mall and find discreet ways of showing off my vagina…I knew without doubt that I could live any fantasy I so desired if only I were a hot teenage girl. I would be classy so as not to scare off guys, but easy so I could get whatever I wanted. Still turns me on just thinking about it now. But I ended up resorting to what you concluded: that people would much rather hear something I have to write about than see me naked. Especially since you can go to any website imaginable and see some old guy’s penis and no one cares. Kinda makes you feel unwanted and undesired…and that’s the frustration with having the mind of a man. We desire sex more than a woman, but a woman can get sex easier than a man. Blah


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